I know, I'm obsessed on this. It's probably in part because I talk a lot. I've been made to feel very bad about this at times, sometimes legitimately (as in when someone couldn't get a word in edgewise) and sometimes mean-spiritedly (as in when someone who doesn't like to talk makes fun of me because I do).
That's the thing: I like conversation. I like interaction with others, I like bouncing ideas off other people, I like hearing their thoughts and opinions and likes and dislikes, I like discovering areas of common interest, I like learning new things. I also love those silly conversations about nothing whatsoever. This is not a crime, any more than preferring to sit quietly is a crime.
Conversation is also the lubricant that gets new friendships or associations going and smooths the way; how else are you going to start knowing each other unless you talk? Are you going to hang around nearby while they have a conversation with someone else, and just soak up information without giving them anything to go on? The surest party-killer is to have everyone standing around awkwardly, silent, no one willing to make friends or strike up a conversation. The second surest way is to have people who are self-conscious themselves refuse to respond, or to make some snide comment or something because they're actually very uncomfortable and unwilling to make any effort.
I've decided that's where my true dissatisfaction lies. I can forgo conversation. Especially when I know someone well, and have spent a lot of time with them, I can sit quietly with them and not feel any sense of awkward silence. I can sit quietly and listen to someone else tell stories (I love a good story!). So it's not the lack of conversation itself that offends me. It's the lack of effort to make friendly chat when it is called for.
Once upon a time, social skills were part of the repertoire of any well-brought-up young gentleman or young lady. Today, we mock the very concept of ladies and gentlemen, embracing equality and eschewing snobbery. This is not only fine, it's probably a really good step. We've lost a few things in the process though. We mocked a presidential candidate because he'd received a first-rate education from private schools; since when is that a drawback? And we've lost an entire generation of people who understand that good intentions aren't always enough. Sometimes you have to make a little effort, even if you're shy or feel awkward or out of place. You introduce yourself to someone nearby who looks pleasant, you make some small talk, you make the effort to find someone who you like so you can actually enjoy yourself instead of being miserable the entire evening, and you make the effort to help someone else do the same. You also make the effort to help your host or hostess have a successful get-together. It's not just friendly, it's plain old good manners.
Too many people aren't willing to make the slightest effort, and most of them don't even understand why they should. We've not only lost our social skills, we've lost our more subtle understanding of good manners.
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