Karate Talk

Different Teaching, Different Types

Consider a "hypothetical" situation... okay it's not hypothetical. But I'll leave out the names.

Suppose you hadn't passed your sandan test a month ago. Suppose you have a sprained ankle, but are taking a class because it is one of the high obligation classes (Instructor Training), and you figure you'll just tape up the ankle really tightly and suck it up.

One instructor, whom you respect and really really like, spends a lot of time working with you. This is a huge relief since you'd been afraid that he would be angry, disappointed in you for not doing well on your dan exam. Instead he works with you on your form, your techniques. Gives you valuable guidance and a very sound idea of what you need to keep working on in order to pass the dan test the next time around. It turns out there's nothing really "dire", in fact it's all things you've been working hard on for the past year or so. The instructor is really nice and supportive, even hugs you after class. You end the session barely able to walk on your sore ankle, but feeling very good otherwise, feeling "okay" with the dan test for the first time, consoled by the fact that you haven't been guilty of any egregious errors of form, technique, spirit or behavior. They really do just want to push you harder.

Another instructor, a little later, proceeds to read you the riot act. He accuses you of poor spirit, of not working hard, of not taking it seriously. He accuses you of not being committed and throws the results of your dan test in your face and tells you that's your sign right there, and that you've made Sensei look bad. He says if you can't commit to training hard then you shouldn't even consider dan testing. He questions your motives for taking Instructor Training. He says he knows you don't like hearing it but it's time someone spoke the truth to you instead of being politically correct. As you sit there in shock, humiliated because this is being done in front of several other people and unable to respond or defend yourself because he is a sensei, he kicks you in the stomach and tells you not to let your spirit drop.

Now suppose this isn't the first time this instructor has done such a thing (although it's by far the worst). Nor are you the only one he's done it to.

All other things aside, which instructor motivated you? Which one earned your loyalty? Which one do you want to work hard for? Which one do you look forward to training with because you know you will grow in your karate, and which one do you pray you don't have to deal with for a long, long time to come?

Although people differ, most people are going to respond much better to the supportive approach, political correctness aside. If you have worked hard and tried to do what's asked of you (plus a little more), it's a harsh blow to be told that you are a worthless slacker. It might inspire you to work harder to prove yourself, but it's much more likely to breed resentment. On the other hand, if your efforts are acknowledged and it is indicated that you're on the right track, if you are not discouraged but rather encouraged to keep on with what you're doing and you'll get to your goals, then you're more likely to get that second wind. I'll walk over hot coals for instructor #1, and would gladly dump hot coals over the head of instructor #2!

Anyone who's in a position to teach, to help teach, or is just working with someone informally, needs to remember that (to paraphrase Jane Austen), "there are very few of us who have the courage to go on without some encouragement."

Subjective Judging

The current controversy at the Olympics over the Men's Gymnastics All-Around gold medal highlights the built-in pitfalls of judged events. Unlike a stopwatch, human judges will be affected by opinions and impressions, and it can affect the ultimate outcome. Human judges also miss things they ought to see, thus awarding someone a higher score than they deserve. There are of course checks and balances built in to minimize this, but mistakes do happen.

Right now, Paul Hamm holds the gold medal, awarded after taking a fall but coming back brilliantly on the remaining events. Yang Tae-young from South Korea ended up with the bronze. There was an error made in judging Tae-young's parallel bars routine, an error that potentially cost him 0.2 and the gold. The South Koreans are protesting.

That's understandable except for one problem: The protest came a day or two after the event was completed, after reviewing tapes of the finals. In karate terms, this is equivalent to winning 3rd place at Nationals, looking at someone's videotape the next day, and realizing that the guy who won actually made a mistake in kata that none of the judges caught -- and then trying to get his score lowered after the fact and his first place taken away from him. Or asking that there be "co-champions" who share first place.

Gymnastics, like karate, doesn't have instant replay. We don't have tape reviews of events. The International Gymnastics Federation forbids changing the results after the protest time has expired, which it has in this case. The protest time effectively means right after the scores are posted, so that the arbitrator can go talk to the judges and see if they saw the mistake, or ask what their start value was. At Shotokan tournaments, we have arbitrators and mediators right there, for that explicit purpose. I have in fact once seen one of these arbitrators catch a mistake that the judges missed, and step in immediately to talk to them and make them change their scores.

Mistakes will be made. I feel badly for Tae-young, but I also feel badly for Paul Hamm, who performed brilliantly under pressure and is now being questioned. Tae-young can argue that he could have and should have gotten a higher score on p-bars. However, if he had, would Paul Hamm have pulled out an even higher score on the high bar, and still won? There's no way of knowing, which is one reason that such protests after the fact aren't permitted.

Svetlana Khokina of Russia, apparently thrilled with her team medal and content with her individual medal, was quoted the next day as saying that the medals were rigged, and the only way she could have won was if she was American. Such bitterness is unworthy of a gymnastics diva who ruled the apparatus for years, but didn't give her best performances at Athens and actually fell off the uneven bars, her signature event.

I have seen scores and results at karate tournaments that didn't seem right to me. In some cases, I probably missed something, or just didn't understand. In others, it's quite possible that mistakes were made. However, I've never seen anyone try to change the results or protest them after the fact (like, the next day), and I can't believe it would be permitted. People just chalk it up to "that's how it goes sometimes, you can't predict the judging" and let it go at that.

I don't know what the "right" answer is, but I feel sorry for anyone who feels they were cheated out of what they deserve, and I feel sorry for anyone whose stellar accomplishment is now tainted by accusations of unfair judging.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

I'm pretty sure that I've done posts on injuries before. I'm pretty sure that I emphasized how important it was to take proper care of an injury.

I should have listened to myself.

I had a great talk with a karate friend on Tuesday night. I used to train with this woman routinely, she's one of the nicest people I know, and great fun to share a dojo with. Very supportive, very funny, very friendly, very good martial artist. We made plans to start training together again, I'd try to go down and train with her in her dojo like I used to, maybe once a week. That made me realize that much as I love my dojo, my sensei, and my dojo mates, I really have missed the supportive network of really kick butt women that I used to train with all the time (I'm the only woman who trains consistently in our dojo, and the only black belt woman). I got really fired up at the prospect of training with them again. It gave me the last bit of "juice" I needed to get excited about karate again. It's not that I "need" to train with women, or feel uncomfortable around men. But it is true that in general, most women approach training a bit differently, and most women do karate a bit differently than most men. I welcome the opportunity to spar against someone who is roughly my equivalent in terms of strength, size, age and experience, and to get a fresh perspective for the first time in a long time.

Filled with enthusiasm for karate again, psyched to get going, get moving, I decided to train last night. True, my hands were still a little sore and tired. True, my ankle was not 100%, and I figured I'd have to be a bit careful in back stance or kiba dachi. But I figured that I'd had several days to rest, could walk without pain, and would be fine as long as I took it easy. Good spirit!

Partway through warmups last night, I started to wonder if this had actually been that great of an idea. My ankle was stiffer than I had realized, not wanting to bend much in any direction and sending out warning twinges. My hands were also more bruised still than I had realized -- I've been so careful not to push hard on anything for a few days, I guess I deceived myself.

Warmups over, form straight lines, gedan barai!

Landing squarely on my left ankle. A bit of a jolt, but not too bad. I can handle this. The ankle is taped firmly, as long as I don't jump or move too fast, I'm okay.

Stepping forward punching -- oizuki jodan!

This is when I discover that in addition to not wanting to bend to either side, my left ankle emphatically does not wish to bend forward. In fact, it refuses to as long as there is weight on it. Driving motion off that foot is impossible, but I was halfway through the movement and unable to stop before I learned that. The stabbing pains and virtual collapse of the leg kind of tipped me off at that point. This is also when I discovered that making a tight fist is still not a good idea. A couple of moves later, I discovered that pressing blocks and knife hand blocks are no picnic either. When you are unable to use either hand or one of your feet, your dojo time becomes challenging. Very few katas are done solely on one foot...

I made it 3/4 of the way through class, keeping my hands loose and gimping on one foot, before I gave up. I had to step out of class and sit fuming on the sidelines, stabbing pains through my ankle and hands, feeling like a total fool as people stared at me wondering what was going on.

So... to reiterate: Always respect your injuries!! Take care of them, don't rush them. If you do, a bad training is the least of your worries. You could end up like me, fired up in spirit to train, and unable to do so. I probably just cost myself an extra week of training, by trying to push harder than my body would allow at this time. And I bought a whole lot more in terms of frustration.

So listen to me and the next time you've gimped yourself up, don't try to play Superman!!

Cats and Dogs

Which animal makes a better pet, cats or dogs?

One of three answers is possible: Cats; dogs; it depends on the circumstances.

If you answered cats, odds are you own cats, love cats, and/or have a living situation that means cats are the better choice. If you answered dogs, then you probably own a dog or two, love them, and/or have a living situation that means dogs are the better choice.

If you said "it depends", then you realize that such questions don't have absolute answers (no matter what the cat or dog fanatics in the audience have to say). Not everyone has the time or the physical capability to take an active dog for a walk, not everyone has a yard they can play in or attend to business in, not everyone has the desire or the time to spend with a dog. On the other hand, not everyone has a need to clean a litter box, many people have cat allergies, many people want a companion who is more affectionate, and many people don't live in an area where letting a cat outside is an option.

Which martial art is best? Karate, ju jitsu, kung fu, hopkido, aikido, kendo, iaido, tae kwon do, tai chi, etc., etc.? (Yes, I know I left out a few, don't get defensive -- this is just an analogy, and in fact that kinda goes to prove my ultimate point).

Well, let's start with what you like. Do you like fast and explosive movements? Do you want a great physical, cardio workout? Then tai chi might not be best for you. Do you have a fascination with weapons, an appreciation for their beauty and artistry, and a desire to learn to use them elegantly and skillfully? Then empty hand techniques might not be best for you. Do you have claustrophobia? Then close-in grappling might not be best for you.

Now, let's move on to what you "own". Have you already been studying a martial art? Then you "own" that one, to some degree. You have some level of skill and understanding of that particular martial art, whether it be rudimentary or in depth. You've had a chance to determine whether or not this is something you actually like, and whether or not it's suited to you personally. And yes, it DOES matter whether or not you are enjoying it.

Finally we have your living situation, or in this case, your body type, age, gender, and needs. Do you need overall health and well-being? Do you need a gentle workout? Do you need a fat-burning cardio workout? Do you have injuries or physical limitations? Are you aggressive by nature? Timid? Are you likely to find yourself getting into a scrap or do you live a pretty quiet lifestyle? Do you want to be competitive? Would you like to go to the Olympics? Do you want to learn some practical self-defense? No single martial art can even begin to fulfill all of these different circumstances, but which ones are most important is a very personal issue.

Different martial arts are cats, dogs, parakeets, hamsters, ferrets, horses, snakes, lizards. They are purebreds and mutts. They are exotics or common. They are for show, for breeding, or as a pet.

I own 2 dogs and 1 cat, none of them are purebreds and they're all companions.

I practice karate because it's what I know, and because I really do love it most of the time. I love what I put into it, I love what I get out of it. I'll never go to the Olympics, because we don't. That's fine with me. I'm not likely to get into bar brawls and I don't live in a dangerous neighborhood, but if I should find myself in trouble I've gained some self-confidence and some tactics to help me out. I'm not as young as I once was, not as old as I will be. I have old injuries to my back and my knees which must be taken into account.

I guess there was a 4th choice on the "best pet" question: None of the above. I know plenty of people who have never and will never willingly pursue any martial art, and if they were forced to, they wouldn't enjoy it. For them, this argument is esoteric at best, silly at worst. And this is okay too.

I don't know whether or not karate is the "best" martial art... but I'm pretty sure it's the best one for me.

Do the Hokey Pokey

You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out, you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself about...

Okay, so if you didn't grow up in America, you've probably never done the Hokey Pokey. Every schoolkid here does it. It is a completely pointless dance. You all stand in a circle and stick your foot in, then pull your foot out. Then the other foot. Then your hand. Then your other hand. Turn yourself about.

Karate for me, this month, is the Hokey Pokey. It started off by dan testing (put your whole body in). Then I got my dan test results (take your whole body out). Then I went to training anyhow (put your right arm in), and got through it okay although I still felt a little "icky" about things (take your right arm out).

Then I sat myself down and had a stern chat with myself about ego, and how important it is NOT in karate. I reminded myself that I'd made a lot of progress over the past 3 years. I reminded myself of the things I felt good about testing. I reminded myself that many people had said my test looked quite solid, so I had not actually embarrassed myself. I reminded myself that supposedly, I do karate because I enjoy it, not because I have this need to "climb the ranks". I told myself bracing tales of overcoming adversity, watched "The Cutting Edge" (very good movie for motivating yourself after sports "failures"). Got myself all fired up! Okay, you wanna see what I can do? You REALLY wanna see what I can do? FINE! I'll show you! Oh boy will I show you. Hold onto your shorts, here it comes!! (doing the Hokey Pokey and actually thinking it's fun!! Left foot in!).

Then, I had a freak lawnmowing accident. Yes, you heard me. Allow me to explain: I have two dogs. One dog chews everything in sight. The other dog digs holes. This might work out okay if Dog 1 would put the chewed objects into the holes that Dog 2 digs, but of course it does not work out this way. This means that my lawn is covered with partially chewed objects and holes. It makes lawnmowing rather... challenging.

So there I was Friday night. Fired up to take back control of my life!! I've spent the summer running in 18 different directions at once, and nothing is getting done. Karate got shortchanged, work got shortchanged, my relationship got shortchanged, the house and yard got shortchanged, my wedding planning got shortchanged, my animals got shortchanged. All that running around, all summer, and all I had to show for it was a dirty house, an overgrown lawn, pets who are forgetting my name, a backlog at work, a fiance who is forgetting my name, and oh yes, a bad show dan testing. I was going to fix that. All of it. All in one night. I worked overtime, came home, did the dishes, then went out to tackle my back yard. Filled with enthusiasm, I plowed my way through 2 foot deep grass, overjoyed to see it coming down finally!!

When BANG!! Bang thump crack crunch! The mower had hit something half-chewed, buried in the grass (it turned out to be a tin can... I don't even want to know how he got his teeth on a tin can, or how he managed to try to eat it without slicing up his mouth). I jumped backwards at the noise and landed in a 2 foot deep hole. Sideways. On my left ankle. Ankle severely twisted. Back bruised up. Both hands badly bruised from getting whacked on the mower's crossbar as I fell.

I did not make it to training on Saturday. I couldn't move my left ankle, and couldn't make a fist due to my bruised hands. I did not clean the house or finish mowing the lawn, either. I sat on the couch with ice on my ankle and on both hands. My cat was happy at least, she got to sit on me all day.

I did not make it to training last night. I stayed home because I still can't do back stance or kiba dachi, and front stance is nothing to brag about either. Although I can make a fist, I can't put any pressure on my hands. I have done some light housework, and tried to catch up at work although typing all day with bruised hands is not my idea of fun, and means I spent another half hour with ice on my hands last night.

There's a lesson to be learned in all this. Somewhere. I'm sure of it. Perhaps it is that lawnmowing is a hazardous activity? Perhaps that I am not lawnmowing compatible? Perhaps I was meant to take some time off from karate, even though I managed a pretty quick attitude adjustment?

Or perhaps it's just one of those things. You put your right arm in, you take your right arm out, you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself about... :-)

Dan Testing and Character Building

I dan tested last weekend. Now, dan testing is never fun, it really isn't. This one, to be honest, I didn't feel all that prepared for, and tried to back out not once, but twice. However, I was told by several people at a pretty high level that I'd been training hard and looking good, and should go through with it. I figured it would show poor spirit not to, so I went for it, despite some mental reservations and a very swollen left knee which meant I could neither completely bend nor completely straighten my left leg.

And you know what? It felt pretty good! I started to panic partway through basics, but pulled myself together. Several people told me how good my kicks looked, which is especially gratifying on a sore knee. For the first time EVER in testing, and the second time ever in public (the first being tournament the day before), I got through my katas without a wobble, unlike my normal shaking from head to foot. I was rock solid and felt strong and confident, and I never get to feel like that so that was really something. Almost everyone who talked to me commented on how strong my kata looked, how great my hip rotation was. My sparring was relaxed and strong, if not as aggressive as some people would have liked to see. It was hard to know what they wanted from us in that regard, because we received multiple cautions about control before we sparred, and were told repeatedly that all they wanted to see was good technique. Still, I felt pretty good, and again people told me that's some of the best sparring they've seen me do. I didn't think I'd passed, but felt that I had given as much as I could have that day, and was glad I had tested.

I had to wait a week for the results, which came last night. I did not pass. In fact, I did very poorly. My kata, I am informed, was NOT strong. Nor was my sparring. Far from having control, I was supposed to have gone after my opponent and completely taken her, and showed very poor spirit not to have done so. That hip rotation? Nope. Rotten. Nonexistent. The only thing consistent was that my kicks were okay. Everything else, more or less, was a complete disaster.

Last night was a rough night. It's confusing and frustrating to be told one thing one time, and another thing a week later. Karate judging is highly subjective and I realize that, but this is a pretty extreme case. Far from feeling like, pass or not, I had given a good accounting of myself, I now feel that I humiliated myself and embarrassed my sensei. I had no business testing, which is tough to swallow since I did so against my own better judgment. I was set up to fail, and I am humiliated. My pride took a hard blow, and although plenty of people probably believe that I could use being taken down a few notches, I don't have to enjoy it.

I had a whole lot to say (in private) about people lying to me and saying my kata looked strong when it didn't, about people telling me I was ready when I wasn't, about people telling me how far I'd come since my last test and how remarkable the improvements were, about people who had promised to help me by showing up early or staying late to work with me then never showing up early or staying late. I threw in some bitterness about feeling like I was held to a higher standard than other people, since the flaws pointed out in my technique also exist in a woman who passed the same test. Why are they so critical in me, and not in her? I felt a great deal of bitterness at being compared to 2 women who had demonstrated a drill, and told I hadn't measured up -- they were Godan and Rokudan, and if that's the standard I was being held to, then this was hopeless before I bowed in. I am also bitter at the feeling that my sensei was blamed for some of this, for not being hard enough on me, and that he now will have to make up for that by being especially hard on me, which means I can expect to get ridden hard and criticized constantly in the months to come -- not precisely incentive to show up on days when I'm tired or hurt.

This is a necessary process, this bitterness and anger, and it's not over yet. Refusing to acknowledge that it hurts won't get me anywhere. Refusing to ask myself these questions won't lead to any clarity. The only way past anger, humiliation, and resentment is to admit their existence and give them the right to be important. I feel embarrassed, angry, and cheated. Right now, karate tastes like dirt in my mouth. I don't know that I ever want to train again, because every movement I do, every kata I do, every time I feel like I am doing something well, I will know I'm just fooling myself and that it looks really bad.

On the other side, somewhere, are the things I will learn from this. This is important, because as I've repeatedly stated in this blog, karate for me is far more than physical endeavor. If I fail to work my way through this, then I will gain nothing but bitterness, and will drop out as so many have before me. I thought them weak, I would think myself weak. This is not about the examining panel. This is personal.

I expect to wrestle with this for quite a while. I hope that I can come out on the other side stronger. I can start with what I've told other people many times: "If they don't pass you, it's because they wanted to see something more. They believe you are capable of doing more, being better. In a way, it's a compliment." It's the truth too.

In way, I could have used less of a compliment... !