Of Tournaments and Leading By Example

So there was a tournament this weekend.  I did not participate.  My husband did.  The end result of the day was to illustrate several points that we feel are key to proper martial arts etiquette and understanding... unfortunately, these were illustrated by someone doing exactly the opposite, and the consequences that followed.

There's a male competitor who we see periodically at open tournaments, known for being brutal in sparring.  Broken noses, cracked ribs, and other injuries follow in his wake.  Recently he injured someone in dojo so badly their face required reconstructive surgery.  To say he's unpopular with his fellow competitors is a bit of an understatement.  He and his siblings are excluded from the usual camaraderie that exists at ringside.  There are some who greatly admire his skills, and I will give him full credit for being a very skilled martial artist.  I just don't particularly care for how he chooses to use those skills.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I saw that he was my husband's second round opponent for sparring.  My comment before he went into the ring?  "Block face, for heaven's sake!"

My husband considered various strategies and decided that the best one was to make this guy respect his distance and speed.  So he struck out immediately, aggressively, went after him with a couple of punches and then a couple of roundhouse kicks head-level.  This opponent also never blocks, and if my husband hadn't pulled the kicks, he'd have been unconscious.  But he did pull them, because his intent was not to injure; they were scoring techniques and there was no need to hurt someone to prove that.  My husband chased him out of the ring with these kicks, and as the last kick was coming down, his opponent reacted by aiming a perfectly executed and timed jodan punch to his unprotected face.

This was a legal, very appropriate move.  The problem is that it was done from about a foot away, and wasn't pulled in the slightest.  Full speed, full power, full distance, full contact.

Today my husband sits on the couch with packing up his broken nose and a lot of painkillers in his system.  His opponent was DQ'ed from competition and there is actually talk of a suspension for flagrant excessive, malicious contact.  This is probably based partly on the fact that he's been DQ'ed a lot for similar problems in the past few years.  The hubby and I made a point to minimize the incident to the other competitors and people from our dojo, joking that broken noses are bound to happen sooner or later.  Most of the competitors came to check on him before we went to the hospital.  The exception?  You guessed it.  His opponent never approached him with the requisite apology and concern for his health that proper etiquette and manners (not to mention character) demand.  We're really not surprised, but it illustrates the point that bothers us most about the whole incident.

So at the end of the day, what lessons could be learned?  Fans of full-contact sparring will argue that this guy did exactly what he should have and is the "real" fighter, but I might point out this was a traditional karate sparring match and certain rules applied, which he ignored, and that he has a track record of ignoring such rules.  Those same fans will say my husband should have gone ahead and kicked him in the jaw, if he really could have, and will say that he'd never last in a street fight because he pulls his techniques.  I would point out that if he wasn't bound by rules in a tournament and really felt threatened, he wouldn't pull his techniques.  Trust me on this one.  I've seen him take someone down when he had to, quickly, efficiently, and without hesitation.  But he doesn't hurt people when there's no need for it, because he's not a thug.  He's a martial artist.  And yes, Virginia, there is a difference.

This man, the opponent, also teaches; in fact he has his own dojo I believe.  On the website he mentions humility, kindness and self-control.  I couldn't agree more, but I can't see how he demonstrated any of those on Saturday.  What is he teaching his students?  It's not enough to talk, you need to lead by example.  We were pissed beyond belief -- not at the broken nose, but by how it happened -- but made a point not to show it, not to trash talk the opponent.  We tried to set the example of self-control and walking away from a stupid confrontation, and to show them how to handle an injury should it come your way.  I think my husband did a great job of showing courage and strength, as the blood gushed from his nose and he was dizzy and nauseous but yet maintained a joking spirit until we were alone in the car on the way to the hospital, at which point his true feelings came out. 

The bottom line from where we stand?  The broken nose sucks, but we accept that as part of martial arts.  We'll even acknowledge that in many ways the cause itself wasn't so far out of line.  But here's the part where we start having issues:  the higher rank you hold, and the more experience you have, the more is expected of you.  If a brown belt or a new shodan had done this, we would not be as angry, we'd just think, "needs more experience, hasn't learned how to control his techniques or his temper yet."  However, a high rank, extremely experienced sparrer could have pulled that punch so that it landed but didn't break the nose.  Could have, and should have.  If they don't, then it's not an accident, it's a choice.  He chose to injure my husband.  And I take issue with that choice.

Our students learned some valuable lessons.  They learned why we emphasize controlling your techniques, whether in dojo or in tournament.  They learned about humility -- the guy was taping himself to put the video up on his website and some thought his shot at my husband was because he looked bad on his own video and got mad.  They learned why some of the rules of behavior exist, and got see the difference between mutual respect and self-importance.  They learned the difference between a brawl and tournament sparring, and why you shouldn't confuse the two.  Hopefully they also got to see a good example of how to deal with a difficult situation, how to control your emotions and handle things properly.

I'm not sure what the other guy's students learned, although I could hope they learned that excessive contact and aggression, not to mention ignoring the rules, will get you into trouble.  I could hope that they saw how their instructor was shunned by most of the other competitors, who dislike his willingness to injure and his lack of any remorse for it, that his students could distinguish the difference between fear and respect, and would prefer genuine respect.  But I doubt it.

Comments

[Paul]

Sorry to hear about your husband's injury. I have not trained in 16 years (yikes) but when I was training I competed against an opponent with the same sort of respect for tournament rules as the opponent your husband had. In fact, the entire dojo of my opponent was known for such aggression and uncontrolled contact during tournaments. Fortunately, I didn't get injured, but was a recipient of a groin kick (I had my cup on) a high sweep (right against my knee) and other sorts of uncontrolled facial contact where none was allowed as per tournament rules.

It turned out that the sensei of a dojo I didn't attend saw what was happening so he assisted me in my match by giving me some tips and pointers to keep him at bay and off balance. That event led to my training with him (the late Sensei Stuart Quan who was well-known in the nation tournament circuit).

Your attitude and response to the experience with that "thug" was exemplary and I commend you. You both are truly martial artists. God bless.

[[mat]]

MMA tournaments exist for a reason.

You want to hit hard, go there.
Else, keep your cool.

Sorry about the injury. My best wishes are with you

[LirianFae]

I appreciate the support but I have a confession to make: this incident has not brought out my "perfection of character"! My husband has displayed much truer martial arts spirit than I have.

I'd like to see this guy get his face kicked in. Anyone who dishes it out so freely deserves a dose in return. I've questioned why the hell someone with such a violent record hasn't been suspended from competition to think about his choices. And I've gotten really, really, really irritated with a couple of people who didn't agree with me on one or both of these points.

Some of that is obviously personal. I don't enjoy seeing my husband bleed, and enjoy it less when I consider it was totally avoidable. I'm not going to appreciate someone from our dojo who doesn't support their sempai but makes excuses for someone else's lack of control. I've pondered whether or not punching them in the face and breaking their noses when it wasn't necessary would help them understand my feelings better.

Okay, I don't really want to see this guy seriously injured. Ditto for the people who I feel were unsupportive. I'm just venting my temper and being protective of a loved one. That's the point: I've got just as much of a temper as anyone else, I'm just as stubborn, I'm just as convinced that I'm right and they're wrong, and I have just as much potential for violence.

But I'm trying to practice what I preach, and walk away from it. So far, with the exception of some private grumblings and fuss, I'm succeeding.

[Colin Wee]

Dealing with difficult opponents makes for good experience. I had a similar experience. I was fighting a much larger but slower opponent - took him down, got on top of him and placed my fist in front of his nose, and stopped. As I was pulling away, he punched me right in the nose - of course making my nose bleed. And said: "Takes more than that to stop me."

Your husband may try to provide more coverage to his face next time - keep his chin down, and keep his guard up. But I'm sure you all know that.

In my opinion, self control and courtesy should not prevent you from providing feedback to him. As you say, if it was done by a brown belter or shodan, you would have brushed this accident aside. However, this incident was done by a high ranking black belt. I understand that you or your husband is also a high ranking black belt? Why then it should be your responsibility to inform this person of etiquette and proper form. Think of other situations where this idiot could end up hurting some other poor sod.

Good luck! Hope your husband heals quickly.

Colin

[Steve]

Injuries stink. It's been a few weeks. I hope your husband is recovering well.

[supergroup7]

Although this might be impossible in our day's technology, I would say that recording tournament performances should not be allowed. There is a higher chance for performers to "showboat" for the camera rather than focusing on the moment.

Ah.. but then.. even as I say this, I can see people recording themselves anyway. It helps them to see what happened from the outside rather than just from their personal perspective.